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Next: No Penalties in Phoenix Game?
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External
Since: Apr 20, 2007
Posts: 267
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(Msg. 1) Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 9:51 pm
Post subject: Tom Renney is a robot
Archived from groups: alt>sports>hockey>nhl>ny-rangers (more info?)
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A genuine, no-fooling cyborg. He doesn't understand this thing we
humans call "emotion".
"You have coolant leaking from your eye sockets, human."
"No, Renney-bot, those are tears. I'm just so happy that you're not
hurt."
"Tears? This does not compute. I do not understand why you cry, when
you are happy."
"It's a human thing, Renney-bot. Some day, you might understand."
"*click* *whirrrr* Affirmative. *bzzzzzt* Some day."
"Attention Human Glen Sather. I have constructed a defensive system
out of these random hockey players *bzzzzt*."
"That's good, Renney-bot, but it appears we can't score goals. I
believe we have just lost consecutive games to the dregs of the
individual conferences."
"LOGIC ERROR. I have constructed a quality defensive system. How can
they lose? My gears need oiling."
"Oh Renney-bot, you'll never understand what it means to love."
"HARD DISK ERROR. CRASHING. CRASHING. PAIRING OVERPAID CENTER
NUMBER TWO WITH AHL ROOKIES. PETR PRUCHA IS A GREAT GOAL SCORER.
MAREK MALIK ON TOP DEFENSIVE PAIR. CIRCUITS OVERLOADING. MARCEL
HOSSA CAN DO NO WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. *beeeeeep* *whirrrrr*" |
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External
Since: Jun 17, 2007
Posts: 208
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(Msg. 2) Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 6:53 am
Post subject: Re: Tom Renney is a robot [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
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Bender wrote:
> A genuine, no-fooling cyborg. He doesn't understand this thing we
> humans call "emotion".
>
> "You have coolant leaking from your eye sockets, human."
> "No, Renney-bot, those are tears. I'm just so happy that you're not
> hurt."
> "Tears? This does not compute. I do not understand why you cry, when
> you are happy."
> "It's a human thing, Renney-bot. Some day, you might understand."
> "*click* *whirrrr* Affirmative. *bzzzzzt* Some day."
But here's the question. Is he the useful kind of robot that will vacuum
your entire house while you're out shopping? Or is one of those Japanese
dancing robots? |
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External
Since: Apr 20, 2007
Posts: 267
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(Msg. 3) Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 10:02 am
Post subject: Re: Tom Renney is a robot [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
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On Dec 17, 9:57 am, "kovy" wrote:
> You'd think a robot wouldn't need 4 months to come up with a strategy
> change. Or would be able to understand what's happening on the actual ice
> fast enough to do something about it... like while it still matters.
He can't adjust because his brain is a block of titanium. His
emotional output ranges from "slightly happy" to "slightly annoyed".
I've never seen someone care so little about have a shitty hockey team
on the ice. Never. >> Stay informed about: Tom Renney is a robot |
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External
Since: Sep 11, 2007
Posts: 205
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(Msg. 4) Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 11:38 am
Post subject: Re: Tom Renney is a robot [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
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"Cynicor" wrote in message
> Bender wrote:
>> A genuine, no-fooling cyborg. He doesn't understand this thing we
>> humans call "emotion".
>>
>> "You have coolant leaking from your eye sockets, human."
>> "No, Renney-bot, those are tears. I'm just so happy that you're not
>> hurt."
>> "Tears? This does not compute. I do not understand why you cry, when
>> you are happy."
>> "It's a human thing, Renney-bot. Some day, you might understand."
>> "*click* *whirrrr* Affirmative. *bzzzzzt* Some day."
>
> But here's the question. Is he the useful kind of robot that will vacuum
> your entire house while you're out shopping? Or is one of those Japanese
> dancing robots?
How about those robots that are made of soft material on the outside and you
can... do stuff with? >> Stay informed about: Tom Renney is a robot |
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External
Since: Jun 17, 2007
Posts: 208
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(Msg. 5) Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 2:56 pm
Post subject: Re: Tom Renney is a robot [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
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Bender wrote:
> On Dec 17, 9:57 am, "kovy" wrote:
>> You'd think a robot wouldn't need 4 months to come up with a strategy
>> change. Or would be able to understand what's happening on the actual ice
>> fast enough to do something about it... like while it still matters.
>
> He can't adjust because his brain is a block of titanium. His
> emotional output ranges from "slightly happy" to "slightly annoyed".
>
> I've never seen someone care so little about have a shitty hockey team
> on the ice. Never.
Wait a minute. I want to hear more about these sexy robots that Kovy has. >> Stay informed about: Tom Renney is a robot |
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External
Since: May 10, 2006
Posts: 275
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(Msg. 6) Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:02 pm
Post subject: Re: Tom Renney is a robot [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
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On Dec 16, 9:51 pm, Bender wrote:
> A genuine, no-fooling cyborg. He doesn't understand this thing we
> humans call "emotion".
>
> "You have coolant leaking from your eye sockets, human."
> "No, Renney-bot, those are tears. I'm just so happy that you're not
> hurt."
> "Tears? This does not compute. I do not understand why you cry, when
> you are happy."
> "It's a human thing, Renney-bot. Some day, you might understand."
> "*click* *whirrrr* Affirmative. *bzzzzzt* Some day."
>
> "Attention Human Glen Sather. I have constructed a defensive system
> out of these random hockey players *bzzzzt*."
> "That's good, Renney-bot, but it appears we can't score goals. I
> believe we have just lost consecutive games to the dregs of the
> individual conferences."
> "LOGIC ERROR. I have constructed a quality defensive system. How can
> they lose? My gears need oiling."
> "Oh Renney-bot, you'll never understand what it means to love."
> "HARD DISK ERROR. CRASHING. CRASHING. PAIRING OVERPAID CENTER
> NUMBER TWO WITH AHL ROOKIES. PETR PRUCHA IS A GREAT GOAL SCORER.
> MAREK MALIK ON TOP DEFENSIVE PAIR. CIRCUITS OVERLOADING. MARCEL
> HOSSA CAN DO NO WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. *beeeeeep* *whirrrrr*"
No disassemble!! No disassemble!!
Signed,
Renney-Bot. >> Stay informed about: Tom Renney is a robot |
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